These past few years, I've become incredibly passionate about all things health and wellness. I believe that it's so important to live a healthy lifestyle, but I also believe that there is so much more to the individual than diet and exercise. Our values and beliefs directly affect how we feel ourselves, which is then represented in our attitude and actions. Our actions, thoughts, and beliefs shape a huge part of who we really are.
Growing up I went to church every Sunday morning, no matter what. My mom worked with the church and helped set up the coffee and snacks for after the service. When she left early in the morning, she would offer my sister and I to either ride with her or ride with my dad when he leaves later in the morning. Regardless when we left, all that mattered to my mom was that we were there for service. When I was a younger teenager, I opted out of service to help run the children's activities and lessons. At the time I wasn't completely sure about God and I knew that I loved spending time with the kids. Going into my high school years was very difficult for me. There was a lot of young love heartbreak and friendships broken in those few years. I questioned everything, including God's intentions. But then I started to read the Bible- I mean REALLY read it...not just skim past the pages. I found stories that I could relate to and I began to regain my faith back, little by little. I started to sit next to my mom in service and I didn't find myself nodding off (c'mon we've all been there!).
After a while, I really started to watch my mom. She seemed genuinely happy every Sunday morning. She was happy getting up early and making coffee for the church. She was happy singing praises during worship. She was happy talking to everyone once the service ended. And she was happy driving home. My mom was happy. And I wanted to be happy just like her. My mom started to nudge me during worship to get me to sing along. At first I would just mouth the lyrics. But one day I actually started to sing along. The smile on my mom's face is something that I will never forget. From that day on, I paid attention in church and actually enjoyed my Sunday mornings.
Fast forward to April of 2015. My family was at the hospital and we had all just received the worst news of our lives: My mom had been diagnosed with "beyond stage 4 lung cancer". Why? Why did God let this happen? Why did my mom let this happen? Why cancer? Why us? I was angry. Angry at my mom for smoking. Angry at cigarettes for existing. Angry at God for letting this all happen. Watching my mom suffer in pain was the worst. But guess what? She was still smiling. She was still happy around us. She was still trying to enjoy life the best that she could. And her faith in God was stronger than it had ever been. In the worst part of her life, she was still praying, still worshiping, still believing. When she passed in October 2015, I made a promise to myself to live more like my mom did. I wanted to be happy like her. I wanted to have a strengthened relationship with God. I wanted to make her happy. And making that single decision has been one of the best decisions of my life. Because guess what? I'm happy. I'm worshiping. I'm believing.
I'm proud to say that my mom's passing has actually brought me closer to God. I've realigned my heart and strengthened my religious beliefs. I'm reading morning devotionals. I'm trusting in God's plan. I tell myself that despite whatever hardship that I go through "it is well with my soul". And because of that, I feel so much happier and healthier.
Whether you are religious or not, you still have your own beliefs and values. Sometimes figuring out what you value and believe in can be a difficult journey. But it's a journey worth taking. Trust me.
I hope you all have an amazing Valentine's Day today. Take a moment to tell someone that you love and appreciate them today. They can be your significant other, your best friend, or even your co-worker. Today, and everyday, spread love wherever you go. XOXO
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